Bittersweet day

Three years ago made October 7th the worst day of my life. Now it is a bittersweet day. God works in mysterious ways. Let me explain.



On October 7, 2006 around 7:30am my best friend, mentor and mom passed away. I remember that my brother and I both spent the night at my parent's house because we knew my mom's time was limited. My dad came into my room, laid on the bed next to me, woke me up and told me that she had passed away. My world stopped. I knew this day, this moment was coming but in a weird way I still thought it wouldn't actually happen. My mom passed away at home and so I immediately ran downstairs to see her. I knew that I needed to hurry and take a shower and get myself ready because there was now so much to do. But I couldn't leave her. I couldn't let her be alone.



I realized that I needed to hop in the shower but made sure that between my brother and dad, someone had to be with her at all times. Our great friends, the Bullards, were there as well but couldn't bare to see mom. Once the funeral home came and took my mom away from me, I realized that a lot had to be done. So, I called my great friend, Tanya, and she went with me to pick out the flowers for the funeral. We got all the arrangements taken care of in two days. I was so busy I didn't have time to mourn. I even wrote a letter to my mom that I read at her funeral. That was the best thing I have ever done and would have completely regretted it had I not done it.



Now I'm a mom living without my mom. I never, in a million years, thought this would happen. I always dreamed of the days my mom and I would spend with my kids; running errands, going to lunch and just hanging out. I feel like I have been cheated and my kids have been cheated. I'm not mad though. I know that mom is no longer in pain and she is with her parents.



What hurts the most is knowing what my kids are missing. I know what an amazing 'Mimi' my grandmother was and I can't even express what an exceptional 'Mimi' my mom would have been. She wouldn't have been able to get enough of these two precious boys. I miss her every minute of every day. I talk to the boys about her all the time. I find myself saying something and thinking that I sound just like my mom.



I loved my mom so much and I miss her like crazy. Here we are at my wedding shower at Mrs. Foley's house in 2004.

Now to the sweet part of the day. As most of you know, Garrett and I tried to get pregnant for 3 years. We finally had to resort to IVF. Our first attempt failed, and then the thawing of our frozen embryos failed. So last August we started IVF over again from scratch. The drugs weren't working the way there were supposed to and my follicles weren't growing. Dr. D said it was ok and that I just need to keep giving myself the shots. Enter: Hurricane Ike. Did I mention that my meds had to be refrigerated? The Lord above was on my side though. The Bullards got power within 2 days of Ike hitting. In we moved to their house. Meds and all. Lots of rearranging had to be done to their refrigerator to make room for it all. I was terrified that because of the storm, my chances for doing our egg retrieval were slim. We had to drive down to Sugarland for an ultrasound. No where else had power.

Well things started progressing and my follicles were growing. As I was talking to the doctor and looking at the calendar, I remember thinking how cool it would be for my egg retrieval to be on October 2nd. This would mean that my implantation would be the 7th. So, I started praying HARD! My prayers were answered. My retrieval was the 2nd, and then five days later on October 7th, the embryos were transferred. In other words I was PREGNANT!! Of course I had to wait 2 weeks for confirmation.

Do you recall the date of my mom's death? October 7th. On what day did I get pregnant? October 7th. Do you think she was poking God in the arm so much for this to happen that He got a hole in his shirt? :) I think so.

I was so blessed to have gotten pregnant on such a terrible day. It now makes me put a smile on my face through the tears. Never in a million years did I think I was going to have twin boys. I was going to have a boy and then 2 years later a girl (just like my mom did). Now I cannot imagine my life without these angels that were truly sent from Heaven. Life will never be the same, and I couldn't be happier.

Here are Blake and Jack as embryos. This picture was taken of them right before they were implanted in me. We saw them up on a TV screen moving around right before they were "sucked" into a "turkey baster". :) They were only 5 days old. Can you tell which is which? (Your guess is as good as mine.)